Tonkin's First Computer Dictionary

A Chronology...The Jargon FileComputer Dictionary
(n.) an ancient programming language which changed IF's to GOTO's by using a strange three-valued logic on binary computers.
(n.) an undocumented design feature, esp. of hardware.
(n.) an efficient and general way of controlling a program, much despised by academics and others whose brains have been ruined by over-exposure to Pascal.
See: Pascal.
Hard Disk:
(n.) a rapidly spinning platter divided into sectors.
See: Sector, Glitch, Bug.
(n.) anything prone to physical failure.
(n.) the part of a disk drive which detects sectors and decides which of the two possible values to return: 'lose a turn' or 'bankrupt.'
(adj.) of or refering to base-16 numbers - binary numbers grouped four digits at a time so as to quadruple the opportunity for glitches and bugs. Originated as a means of counting on the fingers of one hand, using the thumb for the 'carry.' Purists who don't like to use the thumb at all prefer 'octal.'
See: Octal, Binary.
(n.) a complex, blurry, and easily-misinterpreted pictorial representation of a single unambigious word. Preferred by illiterates and semi-literates for these reasons, and by others because it slows most computers down so even a cretin with an IQ of 53 may justly feel superior.
(v.) to increase by one, except when segments are used; then, the increase may be by sixteen unless word mode addressing is used in which case the increase is by one or two, depending on the processor and whether the address is on an even boundary or such increase causes an overflow exception processor fault, which may either cause the program to crash or decrease by a large number instead of increase, depending the register used and the operation being attempted.
(v.) to repeat an action for a potentially and often actually infinite number of times.
(n.) a device essential for performing business tasks and training exercises esp. favored by pilots, tank commanders, riverboat gamblers, and medieval warlords.
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