Tonkin's First Computer Dictionary

A Chronology...The Jargon FileComputer Dictionary
(n.) any list of choices, each of which is either unsatisfactory or in some fashion contradictory.
(prefix) anything both very small and very expensive.
(n.) a way of forcing glitch or bug.
(n., v.) a device used to connect computers (see: BBS) or the process of transmitting data between or among computers, esp. for those unable or unwilling to speak.
(n.) a sort of television with exceptionally poor picture quality and limited to a single very local station.
(n.) the hardware version of the software 'kernel.'
(n.) an input device used by management to force computer users to keep at least a part of their desks clean.
(prefix) a thousandth of a thousandth, but not a binary thousandth in either case. Decimal is used for all very small measurements since no further confusion is necessary.
(n.) a base-8 counting system designed so that one hand may count upon the fingers of the other. Thumbs are not used, and the index finger is reserved for the 'carry.'
(n.) a method which permits access to any memory location in thousands of ways, each of which appears different but is not. Used with segments.
See: Segment.
(n.) 1. One who has no experience with computers.
2. Any beginner, esp. one part of whose salary is paid in soft drinks and processed salted food treated with dangerous and illegal drugs or preservatives. Differs from a programmer in that a programmer will often take the dangerous and illegal drugs or preservatives directly.
(n.) a classroom project which was released before it could be graded - probably a good idea, considering. One wishes the University had had a better system of academic controls.
(v.) to fix a program by changing bytes according to the rules of logic.
(n.) Any repair of this form.
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