Tonkin's First Computer Dictionary

A Chronology...The Jargon FileComputer Dictionary
(v., n.) to steal software, or one who is such a thief. True pirates see nothing wrong with thievery, having successfully forgotten or repressed all moral values.
(v.) to remove from an area of memory naively thought to be the stack in a futile attempt to keep a program running.
(adj.) that which can be physically moved more than a hundred yards by an unaided olympic athlete without permanent damage to that individual more than 50% of the time.
(n.) a small box attached to a computer and used to start fires in cold weather.
(n.) a method of performing a program sub-task in an inefficient way by extensively using the stack instead of a GOTO.
See: Pascal and C.
(n.) a device for converting sense to nonsense at the speed of electricity, or (rarely) the reverse.
(n.) that which manipulates symbols rapidly with unforseen results.
Also: a bug's way of perpetuating bugs.
(n.) 1. one who writes programs and trusts them. An optimist.
2. Any employee who needs neither food nor sleep but exists on large quantities of caffeine, nicotine, sucrose, and machine-vended preservatives thinly disguised as foodstuffs.
Programming Language:
(n.) a shorthand way of describing a series of bugs to a computer or a programmer.
(n.) a computer request for a random operator error. Also a game where the computer plays the part of Vanna White and the operator, a contestant. There are no prizes for winning.
(v.) to put into an area of memory believed to be the stack for the ostensible purpose of later retrieval.
Tonkin's rule: In any program there are always more 'pushes' than 'pops.'
See: Recursion.
Quantum leap:
(adj.) literally, to move by the smallest amount theoretically possible. In advertising, to move by the largest leap imaginable (in the mind of the advertiser). There is no contradiction.
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