Tonkin's First Computer Dictionary

A Chronology...The Jargon FileComputer Dictionary
Recursion:
(n.) a programming method which tests the limits of available memory in an iterative way by using the stack. When the program fails, all memory has been used.
Memorize this definition, then see: Recursion.
Register:
(n.) a part of the central purging unit used to distort or destroy incoming data by arbitrary rules.
See: Increment.
Relational:
(adj.) purchased from, or sold to, blood kin.
See: True relational.
Sector:
(n.) a disk arc on which is inscribed 'lose a turn' or 'bankrupt.'
See: Hard disk, Head, Glitch.
Segment:
(n.) a way of restricting or complicating access to memory in an attempt to break a programmer's will to live. Outlawed by both the A.S.P.C.A and the U.N. but still practiced in some backward areas of the world.
See: Offset.
Software:
(n.) anything other than hardware. That which hardware manufacturers can blame can blame for physical failures.
Sort:
(v.) to order a list of data in such a way as to destroy all relation ships between the items.
(n.) The process which accomplishes this, esp. if it takes a very long time.
Source Code:
(n.) a record of a programmer's thought for a period of time. A stream-of-consciousness novel or short story.
Spreadsheet:
(n.) a way of forcing repeatable answers from insufficient data for superficial purposes. Also, a game played during office hours by bored or restless yuppies.
Stack:
(n.) any area of memory which grows and eventually destroys both code and data.
(v.) To place in such an area.
Standard:
(n., adj.) a design target which manufacturers may embellish, improve upon, or ignore as they wish, so long as it can be used profitably in their advertising.
Delicious Digg reddit Facebook StumbleUpon